Monday, May 13, 2013

Those Unsolicited Pregnancy Comments

Friends of mine had told me about all of the comments and unsolicited belly rubs I would start receiving during my pregnancy. And, for the first 26 weeks, it didn't happen much. Sure, a few family members and friends would give the belly a little rub, but most of the comments I was receiving were glowing and positive. 

Until I reached the 28 week mark.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know people always mean well (for the most part), but if I hear someone tell me I look like I'm due any day ONE.MORE.TIME. I might scream. Oh and let's not forget all of those 'wow, he must be one BIG baby!' jabs.

Since I see 'the bump' each and every day, I don't feel like I look that huge. But, reality sets in when we attend a social function full of people who don't see us often. Just last week, we attended a work event for one of my clients. There were close to 60 people in attendance, and I got lots of comments and sweet looks, followed by startled reactions when I told them we still had ten weeks to go. Is this really necessary?!

If I already looked like I ballooned to someone twice my size, I could understand, but I think that people need to give pregnant women a break. After all, it's the only time in your life when you can gain weight for good reason, indulge in some of your favorite treats here and there, and look healthy and 'glowing' while you're at it.

I have to say that the unsolicited comments have been irking me more than the random belly rubs. This is most likely because I have yet to get many from complete strangers. Hopefully that won't change, but at this point, I am not counting anything out.

So, what is it about pregnancy that makes people so free with what they say? Now that I've been pregnant, I will be sure to carefully articulate the compliments that I dish out to other pregnant women. Pregnancy is not for the faint of heart, ladies.


Andie said...

I was like 27 weeks and I had a lady say "you must be due any day now" and I was like, um, no, I have a ways to go- like 3 months... and I got really upset. I was like- seriously? WHY would you say something like that? I already feel like a whale!

I think when it comes to kids, people have no internal filter, and it starts as soon as you are pregnant. Be prepared... you will get commentary for the rest of your life now!

It is annoying, but over time, I just learned to walk away from it.

and for what its worth, I think you look tiny and glowing!

Sunny said...

I love your new header!

I'm 9 weeks behind you and everyone wants to touch my belly. Ok I get it but seriously, its driving me crazy and its only family so far. I haven't had anyone brave enough yet to ask if I'm pregnant or comment on my size but I'm waiting for it. My favorite on the belly rubbing is the comment I want to feel the kicks, well I just started feeling them so I don't think that will happen.

loveyoulotslikejellytots said...

I didnt mind the remarks because I actually did think I was huge! However I hated with a passion people stroking my belly without asking. I dont touch their bellies so why do they think that its ok to touch mine!! You look great by the way!! Aileen xx

Morgan said...

I don't mind the belly touching, although I don't even touch my friends' bellies when they're pregnant. It's the dang comments about how big you look. How is that ever a compliment, pregnant or not? After we had our first, I would hear people make comments to other pregnant women about size, and I would correct them. Now that I'm pregnant again, I think people are watching what they say to me. ha

"B" said...

Bahah. Pregnancy is not for the faint of heart - but just you wait for the infant comments. Some cashier had the gall to tell me that boys were way better than girls (I have a daughter mind you). I was a little irritated (if I would have saw her outside of there, I would have knocked her lights out)... Just fair warning! and I think you are adorable and so tiny and all belly! and and and :)

Ashley said...

About halfway through my pregnancies (especially my last) I got those comments. The conversation was usually "Wow, you look like you're due any day!" "Nope, I have about 4 months left" [Jaw drops] "You must be having twins!" "Nope, just one, I have big babies."
It's just one of those things, by that point I didn't let it bother me. I knew I was huge, I knew I had huge babies (he ended up being 9-9 and 22"). Here's a couple pictures of my most recent, I promise it will make you feel better :)

Ashley @ Gratitude and Latitude said...

First of all, you look amazing and I don't think you look big at all - just perfectly adorable! I have also been warned but surprisingly I have not heard any comments referring to twins or being due 'any day' now... all of the comments I have received are that I look SMALL... which is especially ironic since at my last appointment my doctor said I'm measuring 3 weeks AHEAD! Phew. People just don't know when to shut up!

Kaitlin said...

Agree with the others - you look amazing!! I WISH I had been as cute as you preggo with my first. My nickname was "the Tank." Yikes. Belly rubs always weirded me out!! Even people I knew, especially guys. I always got super uncomfortable and was thinking "umm, that's still my stomach. Don't rub me please. " I was usually only okay with Jason (obviously), my mom, sister, and females that I knew really well. Also got lots of comments, including being asked if it was twins. More than once. BUT...I laugh about it now! You might too when it's all over. You should keep a list/tally in your pregnancy journal of inappropriate/unappreciated comments and belly rubs! Could bring you a chuckle some day. ;)

Shannon said...

I got that a lot too because I'm short so it made me look even bigger, I was ALL belly, I even had a Target cashier question if my doctor got my due date wrong, as if SHE would know better than my doc. People are dumb, just ignore them, you look great!

Not So Newlyweds said...

I'm at 24 weeks and I can't handle the belly rubs from anyone but the hubs. I just can't do it. Even with my mom. She gets mad at me but it freaks me out! LOL
I had three people tell me today at work I looked tired...or asked me how I've been feeling and if I'm getting sleep, then tell me I look tired. No, I'm not sleeping. Yes, I look terrible but could you humor me a little?! Concealer only goes so far people!

Eve said...

Yes! Oh my gosh the comments drive me nuts. And sometimes really make me upset even though I know they shouldn't. The other day the checkout girl went "wow! You are ready to pop!" Um, nope, not for a while still. And just yesterday my super kind and well meaning neighbor yelled across our yards to ask if I was sure I wasn't having twins. And another lady at the store came up to me and said "is that a basketball under your shirt?!" I said "no, it's a basket BOY though." People just love to know so much about my birth plan, how much weight I've gained and all kinds of inappropriate things for strangers to ask. Oh and my favorite from yesterday from our waitress as she's glaring unsure at my belly "well... good luck with THAT!" Ha!

Mallorie said...

Sooo I just found your blog and saw your most recent bump pic and thought "aw she is so tiny and cute at this stage"! HA just shows that people are dumb and say rude things ;-)

Love your blog!

Hilary said...

I am pretty short...5'2" and very short waisted....when pregnant I get very big and quick. Plus the morw pregnancies the quicker you are to show. When pregnant with my fifth I was so so sick of all the comments (don't even get me started on the "are you done" "do you know what causes that" comments) anyhow-there I was at a checkout line at Target, about 7 months, looked like 9+, and a guy says "wow, you look like you could drop that baby right there". I looked at him and said "What baby"?? He was mortified, turned bright red and went to a different line. The checker about died laughing, she knew I was obviously preggo and I was buying maternity clothes:) it was fun.

You look amazing!!! Enjoy every moment!