Thursday, July 25, 2013

Advice For New Moms :: Forget It

Jessica joins us from Life With The Bauer Bunch (formerly Life With The Bauer Boys) and by the time you read this, she will already have welcomed her daughter into the world, and will be a proud Mama of three! I loved reading her advice; the things first time Mama's should 'forget' about. I hoe you enjoy it, too!

By Jessica Bauer/Life With the Bauer Bunch

“The first year is the worst...
Forget about sleep.
Forget about your appearance.
Forget about privacy.
Forget about sanity.
Date nights. Vacations. Trips to Wal-Mart. Spontaneity is officially dead.”

“Oh! By the way, congratulations!”

Anyone who has seen those two pink lines magically appear on a pregnancy test has heard this so-called advice. Advice that essentially says the creation of a life means the end to yours. That each stage of childhood is harder than the next and everything you've ever known is going to be turned on its head.

I'm here to tell you they’re wrong - in a way.

I am exactly five days away from meeting my third child, my first baby girl, and another reason for my heart to grow. In just five days I'll be sitting in a hospital bed with the golden sunset streaming across the off-white linens. I will be staring into the face of my daughter and glowing with hormones, happiness, and humility.

I’m a little excited about this. Can you tell?

From that point on, life will be different, but becoming a mom does not signal the end to who you were before baby. On the contrary, you discover a new part of the person you were meant to be.

Now, this wouldn’t be an advice post without dishing a bit of my own, would it? Although I disagree with the statements above, here are a few things I think you can forget about in the blessed moments after birth:

Forget what you knew about love. It’s going to hit you like a ton of bricks. The instant feeling of being enamored with a seven-pound person you just met is overwhelming. The doctor will place him in your arms and you will feel it in every bone.

Forget what you knew about your significant other. The first time you see him with a tiny diaper in hand and a goofy, overjoyed look on his face, you’re gone. You will fall in love all over again as you watch him become a daddy.

Forget what you knew about faith. The day you first look into your child’s eyes is the day you see God. You see creation in all its pink, naked glory. The miracle of life is just that and there is absolutely no room for doubt when it comes to seeing it firsthand.

Forget what you knew about laughter. The lack of sleep you worry about might take another route. Picture you and your husband staring into a cradle at 3:30 in the morning, giggling like teenagers. It’s going to be a wild ride, but I promise you it will be fun.

Forget what you knew about pain. I’m not talking birth story, either. I’m talking about the first time you take her to get shots. The first time she falls while attempting those first wobbly steps. And eventually the first time her heart breaks and you can’t put it back together. This emotion thing becomes a whole new ballgame.

Forget what you knew about life. The day your baby takes his first breath in the clean air of the delivery room, it’s going to look different. You are seeing the first seconds of this tiny person’s life and the first seconds of your life as a mother. Soak it up.

Believe me, all of this comes with heartache and pain, frustration and tears, and maybe even a locked bathroom door and a bag of Milanos. This new stage in your life will be full of trial and error and lessons learned the hard way, but this is life. This is living.

So forget about the horror stories you’ll hear about life with children. Don’t dwell on the negative and getting past the “hard” stages. Ignore those who tell you the worst is yet to come.

Motherhood is an incredible, life-changing journey and all I can say is, Mama, sit back and enjoy the ride.


Amanda said...

Thank you for posting this! I am so sick of all the negative things people have been saying to be about being a mother. Some of these people are members of my family for crying out loud!!!!

This post made me smile and that's just what I needed today!

Sarah said...

What a great post! This is perfect! I will be meeting my first baby in about 8 weeks and I cannot wait to share all of that with her and my husband. Just Sunday, I was at the grocery store and a woman came barreling through with her two incredibly disrespectful and disobedient children causing a ruckus behind her, and she turned to me when she saw my belly and said "this is what you have to look forward to!" It is amazing what people say to pregnant women.

Mackenzie said...

I love this!! It's sooo true! People love to tell you about all that you're giving up, but they forget to tell you about all that you're gaining!

Valerie Scott said...

So true! I loved this post. Motherhood is so much more than I ever thought it would be.

Unknown said...

What a beautiful post! Love it~

Unknown said...

So True. I found myself nodding at every single sentence. Sure there are sacrifices, but the joy and new adventure that being a new mom brings is worth every single challenge. Love this post!

Sarah said...


Laura @ My Thoughts-Uninterrupted said...

You made some beautiful points! Thanks for reminding us of the most important side of motherhood.

Sharlee said...

Thank you so much for posting this!! I really don't like the so-called advice you quoted at the beginning of the post. I am expecting my first child, but I remember being bothered by it long before I got pregnant. The only thing that keeps me sane is remembering the warnings that "marriage is hard" when I was newly engaged and excited for this journey. Marriage has been a wonderful experience for me so far and your post gives me hope that motherhood will be the same! :) Thank you! Beautifully written.