I grabbed coffee with one of my dearest friends yesterday. I always look forward to those mornings. We have a tendency to catch up on weeks' worth of happenings in the span of 2-3 hours. We also have the tendency to spend time talking about how we balance life; a small business, a husband, a home that needs taking care of, and a social life, just to name a few.
These are not philosophical conversations by any means, but they do always leave me thinking. About my priorities and the things that I allow to fill up my life.
Just yesterday, I mentioned that I think I have begun to 'worship' busyness. What is it about keeping busy that makes us feel validated? And for some reason, I feel like women do this more than men.
I am constantly running in circles trying my hardest to accomplish everything on my to-do list. A to-do list that I spend time putting together each week, and then updating several more times. Of course, there are things on the list that need to get done, otherwise my business would fail. But, there is something inside of me that thrives off of a full to-do list. It's like once I finish a productive day, and cross off more than that day's fair share of items, I sit on my couch coming up with several other items to take their place.
Do I think that being constantly busy makes me more important? Or perhaps it is just me trying to have more control. I am an admitted Type-A personality, and maintaining a sense of control comforts me. But, I can't do it all by myself, and I am not responsible for all that has been given to me either.
I often forget to thank God for all He has given me. To stop patting myself on the back for a 'job well done' when the credit and praise should really be His.
I don't want to keep glorifying busyness. After all, a full calendar and an endless to-do list doesn't make me a better person. It's not the stuff that life is really made of. I want to enjoy my down time and not spend it feeling guilty for what I'm not accomplishing.
This is an on-going struggle for me. But I want to hold myself accountable, and drawing support from other women will help me to do just that.
Here's to patting the 'right' person on the back. And to not measuring your worth by the number of check marks or slashes you scribble each week.