Sunday, July 8, 2012

What Happens After the Newlywed Period?!

Have you guys met Kelly yet? Not only is she one of my fabulous sponsors, but she is also one of my favorite blogging ladies, and she just got married, so I get to hijack her little slice of the internet today!! Head on over and check it out!


**You may recognize some of the below post from when I was featured over on Molly's blog. I got some wonderful advice the first time I published this, so I thought it may be the perfect guest post for another fellow newlywed gal!
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Hi, Everyone! I'm Pam from over at Our Love Nest. I would describe myself as a twenty-something semi-newlywed (does 18 months still count as newlyweds? Yes? OK, then.). Running a marketing consulting business by day with baby fevah constantly on the brain by night. I'm guilty of buying a few several too many Forever21 tops and watching way too many hours of reality television. I also consider myself obsessively neat and organized and an aspiring at home chef. lover of God, my sweet husband, B, the New York Jets and an ice cold beer (or bubbling glass of champagne!) Come join us on our journey through being newlyweds, taking care of our crazy puppy, renovating and decorating our new home and starting our family!

For those of you who don't know me yet, I am married to B. We met in college over eight years ago, but didn't start dating until after we graduated (best idea ever, in my opinion). We dated for 3 1/2 years, got engaged in November of 2009, and were married in a beautiful fall, North Jersey wedding on November 5, 2010. I know it's cliche', I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have married my best friend.

such a cutie, right?!

In the eighteen months that have passed since our wedding, we have lived together for the first time in a modest, one-bedroom apartment, started our family with the addition of an energetic black lab mix puppy named Riley, and bought our very first home. And, on top of all that? I have changed jobs twice, and started a business of my own. Life has surely kept us in the fast lane lately, and I hardly ever take the chance to sit back and think about how we choose to spend and manage the time we do have now, as a married couple with no kids. 


You see, right now, we're a DINK couple. Have you heard of DINKs? I hadn't until my fabulous sistah-in-love introduced the term to me a few years back. It simply means, "Dual-Income-No-Kids." What does this mean for us? Well, we both work, don't have any kids (yet), and can basically spend our money the way we please. You know, after the bills are paid and the pup is fed. Right now, our time and money are pretty evenly divided into three categories: house money (for renovations/furnishings), fun money (mainly used for all of the clothes that I don't need) and money we spend going out with and hosting our friends.

We are lucky enough to live close to many of our college friends, so we are typically never without Friday night plans, which I love, but it sure does begin to catch up with you. Is there a certain age you're supposed to reach when you'll finally be ready to "settle down?" You know, where you start staying home on Friday nights and planning thinking about continuing to grow your family? Well, if so, I think the age (for me) is now. I feel like I've been juggling life, love, work and a social life for so long, that some of the balls are starting to drop.

I think my dilemma is with how I am choosing to spend my time. Each morning, I want to wake up early, work out for 30 minutes, spend the next 30 minutes reading a daily devotion, and then catch up on my blog reading while sipping on my first cup of coffee. But instead, I often sleep in later than I planned, and get distracted with things like emptying the dishwasher or switching that fourth load of laundry, and before I know it, my morning is over and I'm being pulled into the next thing. I'd like to schedule a weekly or bi-weekly date night, but often times, when Thursday night rolls around, I've forgotten and am lucky if we have time to squeeze in a movie on the couch before we head to bed and start all over again.

How do you busy Mom's do it?! Even though I'm the type of person who takes pride in productivity, I find myself admiring all the wonderful women I've met via the internet, and wondering how they have the time to keep up with their children, blogs, emails and work, let alone making time for their husbands or themselves! I guess what I'm asking is: do any of you feel the same way? Fitting it all in can be tough, and I think it's

Now, don't get me wrong, I chose this life, and I love it dearly, but there are days when some advice from a fellow tech savvy and busy woman would do wonders for me. So ladies, how do you try to balance it all?!

Thank you Kelly for allowing me to hijack your space for the day! I hope you are blissfully happy, and don't  worry, I promise to share all of my 'newlywed advice' with you once you're back in action!

Don't forget to pop over and introduce yourself at my little slice of the internet!

8 comments:

Not So Newlyweds said...

Love this post!! I have the same types of feelings. I also feel like we are in between that newlywed and kid stage (we've been married 3.5 years). Always loving reading blogs about married couples you don't have children yet. There are not many out there but it's nice to see other perspectives..and it will definitely be fun when we all do have children!

April said...

Hey Pamela,
Great post! I always felt like there wasn't enough time in the day when we were DINKs! With a 9-month-old (DIOKS?) time is even more stretched. I think it is all about prioritizing, multitasking and maximizing your time.

I heard something on Oprah radio about living in 2 tenses - the present tense and the future tense. For me, that means always thinking ahead to the next thing. Making the next day's lunches while I'm already in the kitchen making dinner. Or packing for an upcoming trip while doing laundry, etc.

And you also learn to prioritize your social life once you have kids and simply can't go to every single party, BBQ, event that you're invited to.

- April

Molly said...

I say enjoy your "me" time now! Don't feel bad about skipping the dishes and letting them pile up. Once babies come, it will only get harder to spend that quality time together. Maybe schedule weekly date night, even if it is a special dinner at home, so that once you have kids, you'll be in the habit.

Tiffany said...

Just found your blog and I'm so happy I did :) We're in the "in-between" phase too. A few of our friends are having babies but we got married in Nov 2010 too and just can't decide if it's the right "time" or not. Some people say to wait until you've done all your fun things you want to do pre-babies, but other people say having kids is the best thing ever! Haha it's such an exciting time in our lives and I can't wait to follow along with your journey :)

Lindsey said...

Schedule, schedule, schedule. At one point I had a newborn, a full-time job teaching, and was taking 2 graduate school classes. Fit in cooking, breastfeeding, laundry, and cleaning the house, and my plate was always full. But, I always had a day where something needed to be accomplished. Friday evenings clean the house. Saturday mornings grocery shop. Sunday laundry and homework in the evening. I would try to do as much schoolwork at work as allowed in my free time so that I didn't bring as much home. That time of my life was awesome but also a blur. That schedule kept me sane.

Now that I have my degree, the schedule has changed, but it works. Find one that works for you. A night that doesn't seem to be interrupted all the time seems to be a good time to schedule something.

Lindsey said...

Schedule, schedule, schedule. At one point I had a newborn, a full-time job teaching, and was taking 2 graduate school classes. Fit in cooking, breastfeeding, laundry, and cleaning the house, and my plate was always full. But, I always had a day where something needed to be accomplished. Friday evenings clean the house. Saturday mornings grocery shop. Sunday laundry and homework in the evening. I would try to do as much schoolwork at work as allowed in my free time so that I didn't bring as much home. That time of my life was awesome but also a blur. That schedule kept me sane.

Now that I have my degree, the schedule has changed, but it works. Find one that works for you. A night that doesn't seem to be interrupted all the time seems to be a good time to schedule something.

Lindsey said...

Schedule, schedule, schedule. At one point I had a newborn, a full-time job teaching, and was taking 2 graduate school classes. Fit in cooking, breastfeeding, laundry, and cleaning the house, and my plate was always full. But, I always had a day where something needed to be accomplished. Friday evenings clean the house. Saturday mornings grocery shop. Sunday laundry and homework in the evening. I would try to do as much schoolwork at work as allowed in my free time so that I didn't bring as much home. That time of my life was awesome but also a blur. That schedule kept me sane.

Now that I have my degree, the schedule has changed, but it works. Find one that works for you. A night that doesn't seem to be interrupted all the time seems to be a good time to schedule something.

Emily said...

Hi Pam! I just found your blog thru From Mrs to Mama. I too struggle with a lot of the same things you do...I often find myself wondering how all of these blogging, working, mommies can do it all when I don't even have kids yet!

Looking forward to following you on your journey! Would love for you to check out my corner of blogland too sometime!

-emily
pagingdoctorgrace.blogspot.com