I'm sitting here writing at 7AM following a restless night of tossing, turning, discomfort and what may have been a few contractions during the 3AM hour.
Being up in the middle of the night gives you plenty of time to think. And rationalize even the smallest of things. We tossed and turned, got up to use the bathroom a handful of times, and caught a super late (or early) showing of 'Love It or List It' on HGTV around four. Two friends even delivered their healthy, beautiful baby boys yesterday, so checking out the middle of the night photos of those little guys made the sleeplessness more manageable.
As B lay next to me sleeping soundlessly for most of the night, I found myself comforted, and even a little bit excited that the day we will meet our sweet boy is coming so soon. It could be today, or he could make us wait a few more weeks. Only God knows. But I sat there paying close attention to each nudge and roll that Gavin had up his sleeve. I imagined what it will be like in a few weeks to be awake at that same hour, but to have my precious boys' face to look at instead of the TV.
Sure, being awake for no reason in the middle of the night is frustrating, and I will definitely be due for a nap in a few hours. But I am trying to enjoy the quiet moments, and document the things my body is doing to prepare for Gavin's arrival, which seems to include preparation for an infant that doesn't sleep for long stretches. Even so, I'm sure we will find a way to survive. I am ready to embrace this journey into motherhood at full speed. What a wild ride I'm sure it will be.
Welcome to motherhood.